Hmm

I wasn't going to use this blog to write about my mastectomy and failed reconstruction, but it is a really big part of my life and, therefore, our family's life too.

I underwent the bi-lateral prophylactic mastectomy and reconstruction at the end of February this year and due to compilations had to have the reconstruction reversed. I then developed a post operative infection that very nearly killed me (sounds very dramatic, but at the time was horrific) and am just healing both physically and mentally.

I have been very lucky in that I am receiving some wonderful counselling from Tees Valley Counselling Trust to help me to become accepting of my issues and also have a very good team looking after me at the hospital.

I went to see my Consultant yesterday, who very kindly saw me at the local hospital rather than me going to the main hospital and very possibly having a massive anxiety attack. I needed to discuss with him the fact that my scaring was causing me issue with my prosthetics and could he do anything for me without putting me to sleep. It turns out that he is will to operate on me under a local anesthetic and also sedation too rather than a general - woohoo

I don't think I was fully aware of the pressure and worry that I was suppressing until we left the hospital. It was like someone had lifted a weight the size of a large house of my shoulders.

It is not going to happen for a couple of months (at least) to fit in with the MiniMads starting Reception and Preschool, but it will happen and then I can wear my prosthetics hopefully without pain.

When times are hard, I focus on the reason I made the decision to have the operation, my family. We really are a team. I think we all complement each other, enjoy each others company and prove the rule that "the whole is greater than the sum of the parts". I love my family with all my heart, they are the joy in my heart and the substance of all that I do and am.

Also I am so grateful for the wonderful people that have come into our lives because of this. I arranged for us to have a homestart worker when I knew that recovery would be quite hard and she is wonderful. She comes once a week and plays with the boys. She is a calming influence and ex-primary school teacher and a wonderful woman. We are blessed to have her in our lives, she enriches us all.